


Exactly Who They Deserve

by roland20



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Cute, F/F, F/M, Feels, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other, Romance, Sad, Suffering, probably spoilers later on?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-27 05:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13241307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roland20/pseuds/roland20
Summary: In four perfect worlds, each member of the Literature Club earns the exact version of you that they deserve.(Hey! These are a bunch of sweet, feels-inducing stories focused on the above. Will eventually have one story per girl at least. These do not necessarily take place from the perspective of the MC from the game! Just a character (no specified gender) in their position.)





	1. Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks so much for reading! This is my first fanfic of any sort. It's not my genre of choice typically, but this game made me want to write! Please please leave a comment if you enjoy it!
> 
> I might recommend checking out the Sayori chapter first if you're looking for something a bit heavier, as this chapter, while also pretty well-reviewed, isn't very representative of the rest. It's a bit more light-hearted, which was my goal, but it doesn't get as deep into Yuri as I'd like. I'm hoping to do a sequel or rewrite of this once all four initial stories are finished. But if you're a Yuri purist, feel free to go for it!
> 
> Regardless, hope you enjoy! Thanks again!

You're more than a little anxious at the moment and you REALLY hope it isn't showing as much as you think it is. Normally, these heat-of-the-moment jitters don't hit you this badly. Sure, you've got the whole grand-scheme fate-of-the-world oh-god-am-I-wasting-my-life everybody-hates-me anxiety every now and again. Who doesn't? But being too scared to knock on a friend's door is definitely different.

Well... maybe "friend" isn't the right term anymore. But what is?

Over the last week or so, you and Yuri have gotten really close, really, REALLY quickly. Faster than either of you were accustomed to, you think, and that's scary all by itself. Since then, she's been over to your humble abode a couple times, once while you were working on her super-amazing decorations for the club's festival booth, and then a few times socially to catch up on reading...

Reading together isn't abnormal for friends, especially in a literature club... reading the same book at the same time isn't all that odd either... well, okay, it's a little more strange when it's the same COPY of that book, each of you holding a cover, only turning onward when the other is through. You both enjoyed it, though! And it was convenient when you were both in the club. Wasn't awkward or embarrassing at all! Just two good friends sharing a very interesting piece of literature. And sure, if she didn't want to smudge the pages with any chocolatey residue, you'd occasionally gently place a piece of your candy between her soft, soft lips as she focused on the reading, trying to keep your own mind on the story as well. That's... just what considerate friends do during club time!

Of course, when the two of you started reading this way at your house, together, outside of school, in casual comfy clothes, huddled snugly in a big warm blanket, the room lit just enough to make the pages readable as you both tried to find the right balance of bodily proximity to stave off awkwardness, blushes, and the appearance of being overeager, that's when even YOU had to admit that things weren't exactly casual between the two of you anymore.

You feel like you're balancing on a tightrope whenever she's around, and something's got to give... But Yuri's just so closed off emotionally, so self-critical, that you can't bring yourself to actually make any of your feelings clear, out of a serious concern that so much blood would rush to her face at once that she'd fall backwards unconscious, then move across the country out of sheer anxiety. That's not a dig or anything; honestly, you'd probably react strongly too if she went from zero-to-sixty all of a sudden. This is a delicate situation on both ends, and though you two have managed to trade a few poems during club activities that were not-so-subtly about each other, actually SAYING anything has proven borderline impossible.

Of course, that's not the only thing on your mind as you stand in front of Yuri's door for the first time, having insisted you should get to see where she lived at some point. During your decoration-making session, you kinda keyed in on the fact that her fascination with the macabre doesn't end with her literary tastes. To be blunt, she has a thing for knives... and she let it slip that she has a collection of them, and... 

Well... 

Look, you're struggling to imagine that ANYBODY could learn that fact about a person they're interested in and not be spooked, especially from someone as cute as Yuri.

But she's so lonely, and so quick to judge herself when anyone reacts even a little negatively, and so warm when you're reading together, and so good at writing, and so beautiful, and so... so... so fantastic, that you've been as accepting as possible, trying desperately to never let her notice that you're a bit creeped out at the knife thing. It helps that she prefers not to talk about it, like, ever, but that hasn't stopped you from thinking about it.

Especially right now, standing at the entrance to her home for at least two full minutes without knocking, the tall wooden frame looming overhead. You can just imagine her, standing inside, illuminated by only a raging hearth's light dancing across a bizarre grinning expression stretched across her face, her eyes beady with bloodlust. You can picture the walls and all the shelves and tables covered in knives of every shape and size and variety, all immaculately sharpened and polished, reflecting firelight like a thousand little mirrors, making the whole room seem ablaze around her. 

You know it's ludicrous to imagine, but you still shiver in spite of your better judgment. You consider turning for home, shooting her a text that you got sick and had to cancel. But... you couldn't disappoint her like that. You don't give yourself another second to second-guess, and knock, bold and proud.

And the door instantly swings open and Yuri's standing right there, a nervous smile on her face. It takes a second for you to realize that she must've seen you through a window or something when you first approached and had been waiting for you to knock, but instead you've just been standing here. Geez, what must she think? Now you're the creepy one.

"H-Hey Yuri! Sorry that I'm a little late, I was..." You trail off as you try to think of an excuse, but your poem-writing variety of creativity can't improvise you out of this one.

"Oh! It's, um, no problem!" She's in that sorta grey-tan cotton turtleneck you've seen her in once or twice at this point, hands tucked behind her back as-per-usual. You're both silent for a moment before she suddenly blurts "Please! Come in." as if she just realized that, for once, she was the one that needed to invite you in, not the other way around.

You shuffle through the entryway, taking in the living space around you. It's... normal. Like, really normal, thank god. There's quite a few candles, a flourish you'd expected, but none are lit at the moment. The furniture looks straight out of a high-end catalog, all perfectly organized and matching in a sort of ornate, classic vibe. It feels like stepping into one of her poems, old but new, beautiful but esoteric. 

Your eyes are drawn to a massive bookshelf, and as you step a bit closer, you can see that while there's a little dust on the shelves, there's barely any on the books themselves. You get the sense that these books really aren't for decoration, and they get a lot of use. You let out an involuntary "wow" as you scan the rows, admiring the books that each manage to look about a hundred times too dense for you to handle, novels and ancient epics and plays and poetry anthologies and much more. You're looking for a specific volume, but you can't seem to locate it.

"Where's 'Portrait of Markov'?" You turn and realize she's been staring at you, but her gaze snaps away as soon as your eyes meet for a fraction of a second.

"Right here." Yuri pulls her copy from behind her back. Oh, she's been holding it back there this whole time. You resist the urge to chuckle. "I haven't had any particularly good reason to put it on the shelf lately, since I've been taking it to school and your house so often..."

"Oh. Duh." You feel like a moron, especially when she's around. Her lips curl into a cute smile that could knock you to your knees if you weren't as used to it as you are.

You go back to admiring her collection, running your fingers across the worn stretched spines and opening a few curiously. When you finally turn back toward her to ask a question about one, you realize she's slipped away without you noticing. Your eyes dart around the room, but she's nowhere to be seen. She even left "Portrait of Markov" behind on a glass end-table.

You feel that twinge of nervousness from her front step return, as you manage to stammer out a "Yuri...?" to no reply.

You clear your throat and try again, a little louder.

"Yuri!"

Still no response.

You gulp, and feel like you can't just stand there alone anymore. You start to head for a hallway leading deeper into the house, suppressing the quaking in your legs as you wander. You hit a fork, left or right. To the left, a staircase leading upward, and you really can't make out the top from here. You turn right, and realize you can hear water running that way. You steady yourself before heading for the sound.

You pass through an entryway into a room, and suddenly something large and dark flies out in front of you, filling your vision, and smacks you in the face, sending you falling backwards.

Your heart is racing in suspense, and you hear a yelp of surprise as you recover from the blow and rapidly scan your surroundings.

Yuri towers over you, silhouetted by a powerful light on the ceiling, her more precise features shrouded and obscured, your eyes not adjusted for this amount of light yet. There's something in her hand you can't quite make out. Is it...

A knife?!

You can actually feel your pupils dilate, manically trying to make sense of the shadowy contours.

Wait, no, not a knife. She's holding...

A teacup?

You hear a hiss, and your eyes shoot across the room. There's a kettle on the stove with a lit flame underneath.

Eyes back to Yuri, and she's got her free hand cupped over her mouth in shock.

Eyes straight up above you: a darkly-lacquered kitchen cabinet door hanging open, exactly where your head was a second ago.

You do the mental math, one and one is two...

Yeah, you just got smacked in the face by an ill-timed cabinet opening. As you're calming down internally, you realize that Yuri is getting upset at she nearly drops the teacup to the floor and tries to help you up frantically. As you get back to your feet, grasping her hand a little too long, she starts manically stammering "I-I didn't-I thought you were-oh no..." She isn't usually this outwardly frustrated or frantic but you can see her turmoil turning inward as her voice lowers in volume, disappearing as her face makes its transition to bright crimson.

"Don't worry! I'm fine!" You try to jump in to shift any blame away from her. You'd be lying if you said you didn't think it was a little cute when she gets flustered like this, but imagining her mind alight with agonizing fear and self-blame makes you hate yourself for even thinking about it on such a shallow level. "I just wasn't sure where you went, that's all, and you startled me a bit." You weakly laugh to punctuate your explanation, but her gaze flies back toward you.

"I- I didn't tell you I was making tea? I just assumed... Oh... you must hate me..." Her eyes fall back to the floor at double-speed.

"I don't hate you! It's fine, Yuri, it's okay, it's okay..." You grab her by the shoulders, trying to shake her out of her slump. She sniffs a bit. You can't tell if she's recovering. "Hey..." You get an idea. "Let's finish making the tea together, huh? Then we can sit down and read."

"...Okay. Okay, okay." You can see her pulling it back together, taking a deep breath. "You're right. Let's... Let's do that." She heads toward the kettle, at a full whistle by now, and you help her finish the process. You're a little clumsy, as always, and Yuri's still recovering from her shame-attack, but you manage to get the job done, and you carry the tray back out to the sitting room and place it gingerly on the table, eliciting a laugh as you give a butler/maid-like flourish upon completion. You sit next to her on the couch, not TOO close, and sip your still-hot oolong.

Yuri's purple eyes stare deep into yours, and you're not quite sure if she even realizes that she's kept eye contact this long in silence. Suddenly, she starts to speak.

"There's something about you. I can't quite place it as a sensation, really. I feel much more... unstable, much more quickly if I fail in front of you than when I fail in front of others..." Your head falls a little. That hurts a little bit, intentional or not. "But!" she blurts, sensing your reaction, "Despite that.. you make me feel much better too. You can sense when and how I'm feeling bad more effectively than... anybody else, really, and it feels like you know how to put me at ease better than I do sometimes. That's part of the reason I enjoy your company so much... You always know the right thing to say."

"Geez, Yuri, you really give me too much credit..." You try to hide your building joy at knowing that you're so appreciated.

"You know... I was really frightened by the idea of you coming here, but this has been very nice so far..." and her smile crashes into you like a typhoon again.

You... A part of you feels like you could spend the rest of your life around Yuri, making tea and reading books and sharing warmth. But the other part of you... the part that seized you in the kitchen earlier. It's not going to go away like this. There will always be fear in the uncertainty. 

It's like when you first came here. You could take the easy way out, pretend everything's fine, read a few chapters and head back home, hanging out just like you have before. But you can't. Not today. It's time to face this head on.

She starts up again, "Well, I suppose we should start reading, if you're nearly finished with y-"

"Yuri!" You shout, accidentally.

"Y-yes?" You see her recoil a bit in shock.

"I... I want..." Bold and proud, remember. "I want to see your knife collection."

She's frozen, processing your request over and over again internally at lightning speed. "Uh... I-ah... Why? Why now? I don't... Ah... Why don't we just read today?" She's terrified, but you need to do this.

"No, I want to see it now." you grab her hand and squeeze it tight, and you can feel her heart booming even in her fingers. "Listen, Yuri. I like you... a lot. I want to be able to like you as much as I can, but... I need to know all of you. I can't stand the feeling that you're hiding something from me, something that's an important part of you. And I want to lo-like the complete Yuri, thoroughly, nothing left out or hidden away..."

She's still frozen but her cheeks are starting their shift in hue as her eyelids twitch a little bit. God, she's really petrified. Suddenly you feel bad. Did you make the wrong choice? After a few more moments of silence, you start again, backpedaling, your bravado a bit quashed. "I-I mean, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to - I don't want t-"

"No!"

Yikes, you think you really messed up here. How could you do this to her? Make her feel like she wasn't good enough... Good job, she hates you now...

"No... you're right..." Huh?

"I can't keep it all hidden away forever... You'll have to see it eventually, won't you? The cruel, miserable essence at my core..." That's... more poetic that she typically is in conversation, but it's still her in there. She stands up with a jolt. "Follow me." She says, almost coldly, and marches off.

You need to pick up the pace a little to make up Yuri's lead, but eventually you're marching too, up those stairs you saw earlier. She isn't saying anything, or even looking at you. You want to try to say... something, anything to break the silence, but the words can't escape your lips in this tense atmosphere. Your heart rate is increasing now, of course. Suddenly, you're in front of a closed door. That little anxious fire ignites again in your stomach. Are you about to see a brutal, extensive armory, the kind you'd pictured earlier? She creaks open the door to reveal...

A bedroom. Her own, from the looks of things. Twin bed, neatly kept, and a clean desk with assorted school supplies filed properly around the room. Everything feels so sophisticated, so professional for a high-school student, but you still feel her unique creativity hovering around the fixtures, their location and arrangement. She lifts a scholastic award sitting on a high-up shelf and pulls a key out from underneath, cleverly hidden, before looking you in the eye for the first time since you two got off the couch.

"I won't ask you to not hate me... I'll understand if you want to run away..." She pushes the key into a small lock above the handle of a drawer in her desk, and pulls it open, before dropping into her desk chair and swiveling away from you to face the wall in shame, leaving you alone with its contents.

You look inside, curiosity overcoming nerves, and would estimate that you're looking at about eight knives, total. There's a small whetstone, well-used, and a couple chunks of roughly-hewn wood, slightly bigger than baseballs, that you can't immediately detect the purpose of. Nothing else. You've seen one of the blades before. Yuri brought it on the day of your festival prep and you nicked yourself with it. That was what had led her to accidentally tell you about the collection in the first place, in her ensuing panic. Most are similar to that one, fancy and sleek, besides two obvious exceptions: a long butcher knife, straight out of a kitchen knife-block, and a very short practical blade with a large, ergonomic handle.

It takes about fifteen seconds of staring intently into the drawer, studying and analyzing, waiting for the horror and blood and inferno to jump out screeching at you, before it finally clicks in your head that this is all of it. The entirety of her constant overwhelming shame fits in a desk drawer. That's a good thing of course, but... huh.

You aren't even really looking at the knives anymore. You sit on the floor and just try to wrap your mind around the shock, the truly unexpectedly underwhelming reality. The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. When you first got to know her, she took completely innocuous comments as clear evidence that you must hate her. She blew everything you said up into such massive judgments, constantly acting like she was a terrible person in disguise as someone approachable, failing every expectation. This drawer... it's more of that. She does something slightly atypical, something incongruent with the world around her, and suddenly she sees it as a sickness of the soul, a burden to be carried every moment. It... Well, it sucks.

You grab the back of the office chair and spin her to face you again, but her face remains buried in her hands in shame. What do you say in a situation like this? She won't believe you if you tell her it's not that bad... and neither would you, frankly, if you'd been carrying all this around. She did something very brave here, exposing herself like this, and... you need to treat that right. This is the crucial moment that determines everything, your whole future together.

You draw a deep breath. What to say, what to say... First thing that pops into your head. Just go for it. Bold and proud.

"What's this one for?" you ask.

Her shivering stops for a second at your question and she parts her fingers a bit to see through. You're pointing at the really short-bladed one with that long handle, almost like a box-cutter in proportion, but the handle is clearly wooden, and it doesn't retract or anything. She starts to say something but stops herself, so you encourage a bit more. "I've never seen a knife like it."

"It's... that's a wood carving knife. Designed for applying a lot of force to finely shape firm materials like wood. That's why it has the long handle, so you can get a really good grip on it and precisely control the direction of the edge. It takes practice, but it's very effective." Her demeanor has completely changed. Suddenly she'd focused, aware, calm.

"Have you ever carved anything with it? A sculpture, or..." you ask, fixated.

"No... not really. I mainly use it for... stress relief, on that wood in there. It can be so satisfying to just... cut." She says with... you'd call it intensity, but not hostility. You don't feel afraid of her like this, somehow.

Without thinking, you reach in and grab the carving knife, as well as one of the several chunks of wood, and try shaping it yourself. You're a bit clumsy with your hands, and it's a dense, sturdy piece of timber, but you managed to peel some edges down, and etch in some new ones. 

As you look up from your fiddling, you meet Yuri's eyes, her glare so deep and absolute, but also... stressed, like there's something about the way you're carving that's discomforting to her.

In one quick move, she snatches both objects away before you can react, and presses the knife into the wood herself. cutting so deep that you're surprised the wood doesn't shatter from the force. But she has such finesse and skill that the knifes travels as though it were moving through butter. In one stroke, every mark you made has been replaced with a smooth, almost round surface, a consistency you never would've imagined could be made with a straight-blade alone. You're stunned, and barely manage to tear your eyes away from the feat and look back at her still-concentrated face. After a second, she looks at you as well, and the spell of intensity breaks. She drops the knife to the floor and you see the crimson building on her once-again nervous expression.

"I-I'm s-"

"That's incredible!" She's taken aback at your enthusiasm, but you really mean it. "How long have you practiced that? You're amazing! I can't believe you've been hiding that... that strength! It's - you're - wow!"

"I..." She doesn't know how to react. Finally, she musters a small "...thanks", as shy as shy can be.

You point to another knife in the drawer. "What about this one? Does it have a specific purpose, like that one?"

You two spend what must be hours pouring over the collection that you lay out on her bed, and you learn the full story of each knife in incredible detail. Yuri uses her word-weaving skills to the fullest, illustrating every blade's history with imagery and detail that you can tell has been kept buried inside her for a long time. One or two of the knives were bought on vacations to Europe with her family, and she'd had quite the adventure getting them back home through customs. One was an antique letter opener, nearly a century old. The butcher-knife was a very personal gift from a grandparent when she was young. Apparently, when she was six or seven, she had become unusually fascinated with that big knife in particular when visiting her relatives, and one had though it especially cute, and sent it with her as a keepsake when they got a new set of knives to replace their old ones. She thought it in particular may have sparked her entire interest in knives, way back when. You're just fascinated, learning how this fixation of hers has been there for practically her whole life, in some form or another.

As she's elaborating on how a certain blade was expertly shaped for this-or-that specific purpose, your eyes lock again, and her story slows down more and more until you're both silent. The sun is going down through the window now, you've been up here so long, and even as she's clutching a knife in her hand, her gaze locked on you, she looks so incredible in this light, the metal gleaming in her hand like jewelry, her passion and enthusiasm showing unimpeded for the first time. She wears this kind of unbridled happiness so well. You involuntarily lean forward a bit, and she does the same, until you feel her sweet, soft lips brush against your own. You now-voluntarily lean those last few millimeters to seal the deal, and suddenly you're really, actually kissing Yuri.

You're both still nervous about all this, and the kiss reflects that, soft and tender and lingering, but you still feel like the whole world is melting away into this moment. You stay there, just like that, and absolutely lose track of time until one of you pulls away, though you couldn't really say which. And you're back to staring at each other, as your smiles grow together. You can say what you've been thinking this whole time now.

"I love you, Yuri, exactly the way you are."

Her face starts going crimson, but for once, she doesn't look away. She just falls against you, burying her face in your shoulder, the awkwardness from your former mutual personal-space concerns totally erased as her comfy cotton sweater wraps around you in a satisfied embrace, You're quick to reciprocate, and the two of you sit quietly, surrounded by scattered blades on the bedspread, no more fear, totally peaceful in each other's arms.


	2. Sayori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Thanks so so much for the fantastic response to the first chapter! If you do enjoy the story, please keep those comments coming! :D
> 
> This chapter ended up being WAY LONGER than originally intended, but it was the best I could manage with the amount of ground I had to cover. I think it's worth it, though.
> 
> Thanks again y'all! Hope you enjoy!

"That's why I want to trust you... You know what's best for me."

She's... Sayori's walking back to her house. Your gaze follows her, every step of the way. You've just confessed your mutual love for each other in the heat of a terrifying moment, but even though you've said so much to her in the last few minutes, tried to console her and comfort her in the face of the darkness you've just uncovered for the first time today, you still want to yell for her to stop, to say something more. Nothing you've said has really helped, every attempt you made to penetrate this... this veil of sorrow surrounding her, to rip it off and bring back the old Sayori, full of joy and excitement... no, NO.

You KNOW that's not the right way to think about this anymore. This depressed Sayori IS the old Sayori. You have to accept that, but... you just can't.

It... None of it makes any sense, no matter how much she tried to explain it. You can recall every single word she's said today with crystal clarity, but putting it together, trying to make any sense of it... rrgh... You want to rush in after her, not leave her alone... but you've got nothing else to say.

You go through the rest of the motions of the afternoon, trying to piece everything you've learned together in your head as you prepare a quick dinner, polish up some homework, pick out a poem online to recite tomorrow for the festival, but nothing clicks.

You lay down in bed, but sleep doesn't come after one hour, or after two... and you're not even making any progress at figuring this out, no closer to something concrete, something you can really act on to help Sayori. You turn the lights back on. You aren't even tired; your memories won't let you be...

Okay, fine. Casual contemplation isn't working, so you need a new angle. You made Sayori a promise, that you'd do whatever you could to try to bring her peace, and you can't put that commitment aside for the sake of sleep. Right now, it's time for a merciless assault on this beast in her head, from every angle.

You need to do this logically... You jump out of bed and hunker down at your desk, pulling open your backpack, extracting every notebook and pen you have. Any other day when you were laying your materials out like this, you'd be about to write a poem. But not tonight. 

Maybe, just maybe, if you get everything down in written form, all the new information from the last few days, everything she's told you... it'll all start to connect more tangibly. Maybe there is some sort of larger design to this depression, some logic. The first step to helping her is understanding.

So... back to the beginning. It started at the club on Friday. That was the first time she seemed upset, noticeably. You think only you talked to her... no, Monika did as well. Right. And she... she seemed upset that you were writing your poems with her in mind, not everybody else...

"Easier". That was the weird word that stuck out. Sayori said something would be "easier" if... if you were friends with everyone else, not just her. She said some other stuff regarding that earlier in her bedroom as well... but you're still not sure what exactly would BE "Easier". You give "Easier" its own dedicated page in your notes. You feel like it's crucial.

Friday was foggy, but today is far easier (heh) to remember. You went over to her house, and she was just in her room alone, not doing anything, which was odd enough. And... this is when the floodgates really came down. You compile a list of every way she insulted herself.

Waste of other's energy/caring  
Worthless  
Weak

It hurts to keep writing, but of course there's more.

Horrible person  
Unimportant  
Selfish  
Deserves punishment

Seeing it all laid out like this, it really strikes you how amazing of an actor Sayori is. Day in, day out, all the time you've know her, the misery has been right under the surface. Seems impossible, but you get that it was because she didn't want anyone worrying... 

But if that was the case, why was she ever around anyone in the first place? She made it very clear to you that it hurts her to know that others care about her. Why didn't she just push everyone away, instead of being so friendly?

Well, letting people into her life ties into her end goal, you guess. The whole "make everyone friends with everyone else" thing. So, she became friends with Monika, you, Yuri, Natsuki, to make everyone friends with each other? But...

But why?! It's a zero-sum game! There's no end goal! What would make her even start? You remember that when she was describing why she had trouble getting out of bed in the morning, Sayori said she also had no motivation to make friends, because she was so worthless. 

What's the purpose of putting herself through the pain of being cared about, to make others care for people besides her?

This is too much. You rip a page in half in frustration before tossing both halves across the room, and you're suddenly reminded of what she said earlier, outside your house...

Seeing you being happy with the others in the club... made her feel like her heart was splitting in half.

*sigh* You're kind of getting it now. The conflict isn't just here on paper, it's inside her too. It's one of the many things she doesn't understand about this, and if she doesn't... can you? You feel like you're getting nowhere...

You've been taking a lot of notes, trying to get this all down to facilitate your thought, and it's starting to get frustrating flipping through the notebooks, going from page to page. You need to be able to see everything at once. You start ripping out pages of notes, scattering them across the desk... but there's only so much room on it's surface. You've got a little box of thumb-tacks, so you pin some pages on the wall in front of you as well. You need the big-picture here. You gaze across everything, just looking for somewhere new to start.

Your eyes land on the word "selfish"... Okay, what does Sayori see as selfish? Well... she said that while you were in her bedroom. That was what the world was punishing her for, being selfish...

She was being selfish with... you. Right. She wants everyone to be happy, and if you were spending all your club time with her... it got in the way of... you making the others happy? Maybe? Okay. That might seem basic, but at least... You...

God, why are you stuck on such a surface level? You've known her for your entire life and you can't get a deeper read on her than this?

Tea. A caffeine boost might help your focus, get the synapses firing a bit quicker. You head down to the kitchen quietly. You're no Yuri; this is just tea from a can in the fridge, but it'll work all the same. As you sip, you stare across the night at Sayori's house. Her lights are all out, so you guess that she was able to get to sleep, at least. She's so close, physically, but mentally she feels like a citizen of a distant land, far away from everything you've ever known or understood.

You head back to the desk, refreshed slightly. Where were you? Oh, yeah, your inability to get past the basic facts, to make any deeper realizations, despite your extensive experiences with her.

Well, now that you think about it, those experiences pretty worthless when trying to figure this out, because she's been lying to you about so much her whole life... That sounded harsh, but it's true. She was pretending to be happy... so that everyone else would be happy too. That was the purpose of the lying, to deflect other's concern... Right? 

That's what she told you, over and over again. This was about EVERYBODY but her. But then, like you'd thought earlier, nobody would be concerned if she hadn't reached out to them herself, purposefully. Except...

Wait... wait.. let's back up a step. She's known you longer than anybody else. You're her oldest friend. You grew up together. You can't remember a point when you didn't know Sayori, and she's probably the same way.

She...

She DIDN'T choose to be friends with you. It just always was that way.

So that's how it starts. The thorns in her heart. Is all this effort and illusion really for everyone's benefit? Or... or is it just for you?

Why did Sayori join the Literature club in the first place again? ...She didn't just join it, she STARTED it with Monika. That's quite the challenge, and she's not exactly the bookish type.

She wanted you to make friends so badly. That motivation... it couldn't have gone back that far, could it? If it did... did she start a club just so she could get you to socialize?

Oh, geez. You might be assuming a lot, but suddenly disparate pieces of information are all connecting, weaving and locking together in a larger design.

Maybe she does want everyone to be happy... but that wasn't the case at first.

It was just you, only you at the beginning. You were the only one that really cared about her beyond casual acquaintance for so long. She sees you're a loner, and she starts a club to get you more friends, using Monika as an "in".

But then... she starts to care about them too, Yuri and Natsuki. How could she not? You haven't known them THAT long, but even you can tell that they're really nice people, if a bit brusque or shy at first, and they've got their own problems to sort through as well. Maybe Sayori related to that, and suddenly she wanted to help them too...

But it starts with you, and all of the pain she described... it was all from you, your thoughts or relationships or lack thereof. This isn't really about everybody; it's about you, and it always has been.

You're on a roll. Everything's unraveling. For the first time tonight, you don't feel clueless. You're thiiiiis close, you think, to something big. The end goal...

"Easier".

You've had a few passing notions as to what this whole plan of her's makes "easier", but nothing concrete.

You lean backwards, pressing your palms into your eyes with a twist, concentrating, searching for that last crucial piece of the puzzle...

And all at once, it's like Sayori is standing right next to you, screaming into your ear something she said earlier, something you'd somehow discounted.

"This would be so much better if I could just disappear!"

Oh...

Oh god...

If you had someone else in your life beside her, someone you were as good of friends with, someone you were close to, someone she knew was good, someone she had personally vetted...

It'd make it easier for her to disappear... and easier for you to cope, once she was gone...

It might be the exhaustion, or the late-night caffeine, or anything else... but... could this be right? It seems too dark... but doesn't everything that she's said?

You'd believe anything at this point. Maybe you're right. You hope you aren't, that things aren't really that grim, but it's the most you've had to work with all night.

You feel like you've hit a stopping point. For the moment, there's nothing left to think. Maybe now, your mind will let you rest for a few hours before morning. What time is it anyway?

You check the clock. 8:02.

But... you went to bed at 9:30, same as every night. How did time reverse an hour and a half? You pull the blinds open, and true to their name, you're blinded with bright light flooding in from the outside world.

...

You... you worked ALL NIGHT?! Can that really be possible?

It's at this point that you look back at your desk with a fresh perspective and realize that there's pages upon pages of hastily scrawled notes scattered across the desk and floor and pinned against the wall, connected with lines in pencil and pen to point out possible links in content...

If anyone else had done this, especially about a girl they were in love with, you'd assume they were a serial killer. Seems that you got so caught up in thinking about Sayori, you didn't realize how much time was passing.

Okay, so no time to sleep. Ice-cold shower and two more teas should keep you going, at least until the festival, you hope. 

You're dressed for school, but you're heading straight for Sayori's house. You can hear her voice again, clear as day, shouting from your memories.

"Most days, I can't even find a reason to get out of bed."

Well, you're gonna give her a reason, even if it means busting down her door. After what you've considered, you wouldn't dare leave for school without her in tow.

You knock on the front door, assuming you'll get no answer based on recent history. When that seems to be the case, you wonder if you'll have to literally bust down the door, but you think to try the knob first, and the door opens without incident. You bolt up the stairs, and knock twice on her closed bedroom door, hard.

When there's no response, you become more than a little concerned.

She... she couldn't have... not so soon...

You swallow, take a deep breath, steel yourself for the reality that you may be confronted with something horrible in a few moments, and slowly creak the door open, looking through squinted eyes. You see...

Sayori, still asleep, but she's stirring a bit, a sliver of light from her window cutting across her face and intruding past her eyelids. You try to hide your sigh of relief, in case she's more conscious than she seems. You don't want to shock her by having her wake up to a figure looming over her bed, so you lean down next to her, softly whispering "Hey... Good morning, Sayori..."

Her eyes part a bit, adjusting to the light, and landing on your face. She smiles a little, weakly, a little unsure, but not scared.

"Hey... what's going on? Why did you wake me up?"

"Well, I missed you..." She's... so beautiful, in the soft morning light, and you can't help but brush a few pink locks aside and plant a quick kiss on her forehead, eliciting a surprised gasp. You feel your cheeks reddening a little. Despite the amount of thought you've put into this, acting romantically toward her is still new. "Besides, did you think I was gonna let my favorite girl oversleep on the day of the festival? We have work to do out there. Can't let them down, right?"

"...no, I guess not." She sits up, rubbing her bright-blue eyes. She's in a grey baggy button-down shirt with a yellowish collar and long sleeves, and a pair of red shorts. You don't recognize the shirt, and it certainly doesn't seem like something you'd want to sleep in, but that's not exactly important at the moment. Besides, she'd be adorable in anything, and you know that.

You lock eyes for a few seconds, before her gaze sinks a bit, not sure how to react, whether to keep up the smiles like before, or dispense with the illusions, so she just mutters, "I'll get washed up and dressed, then, if you'd like to get going..."

"Sure thing. Sayori. Meet you downstairs, okay?"

She starts to gather the different pieces of her uniform as you step out and make your way back down to the lower level.

After a minute or two of waiting around, you decide to put your hands to better use in the kitchen. You're no great cook, but even you can manage her favorite, eggs sunny-side up with toast. You know where everything is in her kitchen, so you have it done in a few more minutes, all plated and ready right as you hear her coming down the stairs, clearly focused on following the scent as she glides toward you.

"Wow... Nobody's made me breakfast like this in a really, really long time!" She smiles brightly, and you hope, genuinely, as she digs in. You pick at your own, but you're too fascinated by the sight of her with a joyful look on her face to care much about eating.

Soon enough, you're walking to school together, the same way you have hundreds of times before. But, of course, things are different this time. You both fall silent for a few minutes, and you know you need to be the one that breaks the quiet between you.

"Listen, Sayori..." you start as she looks over at you, a little hesitantly, "I was doing some thinking about... well, EVERYTHING, last night," you say, in the understatement of the millennium, "and..." Your voice fails a little. You didn't exactly have time to write a speech, but you thought you'd be able to speak from the heart. It's scary... but it has to be done. You start again.

"I... A part of me is really, really terrified that nothing that I can do can really fix what's broken."

She gives you another weak smile, a trademark of her's over the last few days.

"I can't pretend to know the future perfectly... But I do know one thing."

You grab her gently by the shoulder and spin her to face you, but her eyes are glued to the ground now. You pull her face up to meet your own, cliche as it may be.

"Nobody else could ever, EVER make me as happy as you have... And, I got to thinking... this might sound weird, I don't know, but..." God, just say it already, you nervous wreck.

"If I ever lost you, I... I don't know what I'd do." She gasps, but you continue without faltering. "It'd kill me, Sayori. I can't even begin to imagine how unlivable my life would become without you to brighten it." You can see tears starting to well up, just a little bit in her eyes. "So please..." you pull her into a close embrace, "promise me you won't ever disappear. You're so, so special, and my world would be a very dark place without you in it."

You can feel the tears against your shoulder, not unlike yesterday at all, as she shudders at your touch. They aren't happy tears, not all of them at least, but you hope at least that, if your theory was right, you've just stopped something terrible in its tracks.

"I can't... I can't do it... It hurts... Just living hurts, now... How am I supposed to spend every day with half of my mind full of joy, and the other half screaming, ripping me apart?"

"Day by day, Sayori. The same way you always have." You want to say more, but... you've just had an idea, so you just let Sayori cry against you, a silent support. 

Eventually, the two of you start walking again, each with an arm wrapped around the other as you continue onward. A few other students whisper and point and smirk at such an open display of affection, but Sayori has never been the type to feel shame in public, always running after you, yelling your name in the morning, regardless of who saw.

You enter the club room, and Monika turns to greet you with a smile, but freezes in her tracks, sharply inhaling at the sight of... you two? Who else was she expecting? Just as quick, she seems to be back to normal.

"Hey, you two! Glad to see you out here so early!"

You and Sayori seem to be the first besides her. Natsuki and Yuri are no-shows so far. 

"...and so chummy, too! Say, would you mind if Sayori and I talked in private real quick? It's about... the poem she picked to perform today."

You can feel Sayori suddenly squeeze your hand tightly, as if there's something wrong. You look at her, but her face is actually relatively calm. What's she so worried about? You try to think of a reason to stay in the room regardless, but nothing comes.

"Actually, Monika, I was gonna tell you," Sayori starts, collected and confident, that acting skill of hers returning in full force, "I don't think I can recite today. I've been feeling sick ever since I left on Friday, and... I just wouldn't feel comfortable performing in front of others like this." She bows far forward, her hands pressed together above her head. "Please forgive me!"

This is so weird. You know Sayori isn't sick, that she just said that as an excuse to leave because of... well, YOU, the other day.

Monika's smile is unyielding, but she seems a little... angry? Could that be? She starts to speak, very deliberately and slower than usual. "Are you absolutely certain, Sayori? You'd really be letting me down."

"Hey, if Sayori's feeling sick, we shouldn't make her do anything she doesn't want to." You interject, playing along with Sayori. What the hell is going on here?

Monika's a little taken aback at you butting in, but puts back on her friendliest smile. "Of course! Just being certain. I hope you'll still feel well enough to watch the rest of us, Sayori!" She jumps back, scooping up the pamphlets she'd been laying out on the desks. "I'll need to get these all reprinted if we're down a speaker, take out Sayori's name and poem, but that shouldn't be an issue. I'll see you later!"

And just like that, she's gone.

You sit with each other in a few desks near the back for a moment, but before you get the courage to ask about Monika's odd behavior, Yuri shows up with a big box of beautiful handmade decorations and aromatic candles, and Natsuki follows not-too-far behind with her scrumptious-looking cupcakes.

You all start scrambling to get things looking nice for the recitation, but you take a few minutes on the sidelines while Sayori is helping hang Yuri's banner. You get a few lines of poetry that popped into your head on the way here scrambled down on one of the last sheets of notepaper you didn't use in your feverish mania last night. When Monika returns with the new pamphlets, you stop her before she can start laying them out.

"Hey, Monika. I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble... could I switch my poem? I wrote something I'd much rather recite."

She looks at you, cocking her head a bit to figure out if you're kidding, before letting out a rather deflated sigh. "I really have to go get another set of pamphlets printed, huh?"

She doesn't take it all that hard in the end, and heads back to the school's printing office for the third time today. There's plenty of time until the recitation, and everyone's mentally practiced and ready long before visitors start flowing in. You don't quite fill the clubroom with attendees, but it's more people than any of you expected, and the thought of reciting what you just wrote, not just to strangers, but also your close friends from the club, and even one or two acquaintances you recognize among the audience, makes you more than a little anxious.

Monika opens with a empowered, slightly intense reading, followed by a cute short tale selected by Natsuki, and a very experimental landscape description picked out by Yuri, leaving you to finish the event. You're nervous, of course, but you see Sayori sitting at the back, smiling encouragingly, and remember the real reason why you're up here. You begin to recite, calm and direct.

"I don't ever remember being alone  
Because there was always her  
Always someone to make me laugh  
Always someone to sing  
Always someone for me to disappoint  
I was blind, and wrapped in a heavy raincoat  
It was comfortable, but I didn't really know what was outside  
When I took the coat off and uncovered my eyes  
I realized we'd been in a storm all this time  
And the rainclouds drenched her  
And she shivered in the freezing cold  
And the ocean rose from the deluge and nearly drowned her

But she never left my side  
No matter how much I failed to see  
But I do see the rain now  
And feel the icy water's sting  
And hope she can forgive me for being so blind  
And wrap her in the raincoat  
And build her a boat to float in  
And hold her in my tight embrace to warm her from the cold  
And tell her that all rainclouds give way to a rainbow  
And tell her the oceans will be calm  
And tell her roses will grow from the drenched earth as it dries  
And promise her we'll always float together"

You take your bow as the final round of applause begins. It was a little sappy, and definitely not your best work, you'll be the first to admit, but it felt more real than whatever you'd found online the other night. The other three reciters join you for a final bow to close the recitation, and people begin to file out, several stopping with Monika to inquire about the club further as Yuri and Natsuki bombard you with questions.

"Did you really write that? Jeez, how saccharine can you get? Bit too much, even for me." Natsuki teases.

"Well, I thought it was very nice, but... who was it about?" Yuri asks, her gaze diverting a little as she asks shyly.

Sayori is standing just behind them, waiting her turn to talk to you, and you reach over their shoulders and pull her forward as she throws her hands over her face in mock distress. You give her a twirl and dramatically motion toward her like she was a renaissance debutante being introduced for the first time. "Ladies, meet the subject of today's composition."

There's a moment of silence, and you worry that you've somehow given away some compromising info on Sayori in your excitement, but your fears are cut short by a combined "WHAAAT?!" from your shocked club-mates as their attention turns rapidly to Sayori.

"You two are-"

"When did you-

"How lon-"

"Have y-"

Neither can get a full question in over the other before Sayori raises her hands in embarrassment, a blush beginning to form around her smile, whining a pathetic "Help meeeeee!"

"Now look at what you did, Natsuki. You've embarrassed Sayori!" Yuri chides.

"Sorry, did you just say I DID?! You were even louder than me!"

As they bicker, you try to sneak Sayori out. As you do, you're suddenly stopped by Monika grabbing your shoulder, rather forcefully. As you turn to look back at her, she seems a little... distracted. Like there was something stuck in the back of her head that was pulling her off of her usual course. You'd expected Monika to be a bit happier after such a successful round of recitations, with so many people interested afterward. She starts to speak after just looking at you for a second or so.

"That... your poem was very beautiful, I thought. Just wanted to say."

"Thanks so much Monika!" You try to respond cheerily, even though earlier events left you feeling more than a little weird about her recent behavior toward Sayori. "Your's was really great too! So powerful!"

"...thanks." You don't seem to have raised her spirits at all. "Where are you two off to now?"

"I was hoping to check out the outdoor booths with Sayori for a while. Hopefully we'll see you later on!"

You wave goodbyes as you head out, but as soon as you turn the corner and Monika is out of sight, Sayori suddenly sharply exhales like she's been holding her breath, and wraps you in a tight hug, which is a new turn of events; usually, it's been the other way around ever since you became a couple, you hugging her.

"That was so... I... You really do love me, don't you?"

What? "Of course, Sayori. Haven't I said as much?"

"...I couldn't believe you. I still don't know if I can. You're so nice... You'd never say anything to hurt me. How can I believe anyone?"

Still? Has anything you've said made an impact? "Why would I lie to you? You've been my best friend for my whole life."

She smiles, but you can see the hint of sorrow in her eyes. "That's exactly why you would lie. Don't you see? It's much easier to lie to the people we don't want to see get hurt, because it protects them from the bad feelings, from the pain... I was a chipper happy-go-lucky girl with a go-get-em attitude, remember? I kept all the sadness away from you. I only told you the truth... when I became weak..."

"Sayori, you are the strongest person I know. Carrying all this with you for so many years, never letting anyone see... One day, you'll realize that I'm here for you now, whether you like it or not. If you keep saying silly things like "I'm weak", how do you expect me to take you seriously?"

She laughs, despite everything, and you finally feel her embrace loosen as her arms fall away from you, your fingers lingering together for a few more seconds before you start heading for the outdoor booths again.

You buy a big bag of dark chocolate candies to share as you walk the school grounds, and though they're not your favorite, Sayori seems to love them (you make a mental "note to self" - definitely keep that in mind). You finally see that anime club you were considering joining a few days ago, but... well, let's just say you're glad you joined the literature club instead.

Before you can make too much progress exploring, there's a crash of lightning that tears across the sky in an instant, and many of the outdoor booth teams start to flee for the interior, followed by the festival-goers, as the rain begins to fall.

You're a little confused. There was absolutely no rain in the forecast today. They'd planned the whole festival around that fact, you heard. Still, can't deny what you feel falling on your skin, so, hand still clasped with Sayori's, you head for the doors.

But Sayori refuses to budge. You look back, and she's paralyzed, eyes somehow both totally empty and full of agony at the drops bounce off her skin, dampen her hair, soak into her uniform. Her demeanor has totally changed. The rain is steadily increasing, rapidly approaching a storm, as you start to speak a bit louder than usual due to the sound of rainfall becoming louder and louder.

"Sayori! Let's go!"

"I... I can't! We can't do this anymore! It's not right! The world doesn't want it... The world wants me to die, don't you see? The rainclouds, they... they'll never leave..."

"It's just rain!" you plead. "C'mon, we can talk about this inside!"

"NO! I... You need to let me go... You need to let me die already, right here, right now... It'll be better for you... better for everyone... just go!" She drops your hand, but you dive to grab her's again. She slaps your hand away, but you wrap her in your arms in a bear hug. She tries to throw you off, but you've got a death grip on her.

Eventually, her struggles subside, and you're both pushed to the wet, cold ground by the growing winds, surrounded by a rushing barrage of frigid water.

The gusts rush at you like a knife, almost as if nature itself wanted to separate you, but you just slide across the slick concrete as every inch of clothing and skin is saturated with icy rainwater. Why is everything so cold?! Sure, it's not exactly summer anymore, but it was warm out this morning. You feel like you're freezing to death, but you still try to give whatever warmth you have left to Sayori, squeezing as hard as possible.

Despite this, she starts screaming sobs into your shoulder, trying to form words but failing, as you hold on as tight as you can against the elemental fury around you. She's lost any self-control she'd maintained, and she's rapidly breaking down mentally.

Why? What went wrong? You thought it was going so well. You had made progress. You thought you understood. But still, nothing makes sense. The entire world is a maelstrom, cold and uncaring, trying to tear her away from you, but you know, deep down, that if this wind rips off your arms, you'll hang on with your legs, and if those come off next, you'll just have to kiss her strong enough to keep her from flying away. You pray to anything that will listen for help, but none comes.

Eventually, you can start piecing together her screams into something coherent.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please! I'm sorry! I'm trying! Please!"

You think she's apologizing to you, but as you look her in the face, you can see that her gaze is locked in total horror at something behind your back. You crane your neck around against the wind, and can make out the shape and face of Monika, despite the extremely low visibility in the fiercest storm you've ever seen. She's somehow standing alone in the fury, her typically friendly face twisted into a powerful glare that emits pure, cold hatred, teeth gritted in impatient rage.

You don't understand. What does Monika have to do with this? Why is she outside? How can she be so still and steady in all this chaos? Why is she looking at Sayori like that? Is...

Is she behind this storm?

Or... maybe even more than that?

"M-M-Monika! What's happening!?" You scream through your shivering, but she doesn't respond. You'll beg if you need to. You aren't proud. You yell Monika's name, over and over, stretching your voice across the storm's devastation. Finally, her glare turns from Sayori to you.

"Please! Stop this! Don't hurt her any more! I'm begging you! I can't lose her, Monika! Please! You aren't just killing her, you're killing both of us!" You continue on like this at the tears course from your eyes, disguised by the torrent as blood rushes to your face, your facial muscles stiff from the wind, barely able to form words. You aren't even sure if you believe what you're saying has any real connection to the events unfolding, but it's the best you've got.

You didn't have a hope that your pleas would help, but... something softens in her expression. She's glaring at you, but the malice is fading. You'd almost call it... dawning... something. As it progresses just a touch more, you realize it's guilt.

You keep begging against the wind, and when she tries to look away, you scream louder. "Look at us! Look, Monika!"

Whatever is happening, whatever you're doing is working. She looks at you one last time, trying to muster that intensity, that wrath she'd pointed at Sayori moments ago, but her shoulders slump as her line of sight fall to the wet ground below, and she looks... you'd describe it as wrecked.

She collapses to her knees, and suddenly, the rain stops, and the wind, and the sky is clear, and everything is silent, and you're dry, and your hands fly against your own body as you realize Sayori is gone too. It's just you and Monika.

You jump up, in a rage of your own. "Where's Sayori!? What the hell is going on?! Wh-"

"You really do love her, don't you?" Monika asks, coldly staring up at you from the ground.

Why is she asking that? You've got a million questions... but you feel like it's important to answer this question, right now, beyond any other priority.

"...more than life itself."

She sighs, and manages a weak, sad smile. The kind you've seen on Sayori's face several times over the last two days. "I want to feel angry... but I can't. Not after seeing how... real, your love for her is" She gets back to her feet, her facial expression full of a somber longing, along with the guilt.

"I'll undo what I can, but I'm not going to whitewash her every flaw. That'd be just as bad as what I've done already."

"...what are you TALKING about?"

"Don't hate me too much. I just wanted that realness. You can understand that, can't you?

"... I don't hate you Monika, but can you please te-"

"No, of course you can't. Goodbye."

"Wh-"

**............**

There's a few seconds of drizzle following that stray lightning bolt over your and Sayori's head, but just as soon as it started, the rain slows to a halt, and suddenly, the sky seems to be just as blue as it had been this morning. You see festival-goers and booth-runners alike sheepishly returning from their cover, and you can't help but laugh a bit at how quickly they'd run from a little rain.

You turn back to Sayori, but she's not looking at you. She's not really looking at anything in particular, actually. Just sort of staring off into space. She didn't get much of the rain after all, but you suddenly recall that rainclouds are a part of her complex emotional web, and even that quick bit of downpour might've been a bit too much for her. She's had a rough few days, after all.

"Sayori?" You grab her lightly by the shoulder and give her a quick shake. Suddenly, she jolts back to attention, like she's just woken up with a start, and her eyes lock with yours in shock.

"Are you okay?"

She takes a second, but as she detects you about to ask again, she manages to blurt out a "Yeah!... I'm... I'm okay..." She says, like even she's surprised at that fact. "S-Sorry about that."

She still seems bewildered, like she's trying to adjust to something strange, but as you look around, nothing's significantly different, as far as you can tell.

The two of you just continue onward after you make sure she doesn't need anything else right away, and eventually you catch Natsuki and Yuri perusing a stand together. You know you told Sayori the two of you'd spend the festival together, but as soon as she gets talking with them, you get the impression that you four are gonna be a group for the rest of the day. You don't mind a bit, and neither does Sayori.

After a couple hours of exploration, snacking, and fun, you think to ask Yuri and Natsuki if either of them had seen Monika. Apparently, once they'd finished tidying up after the last recital-watchers had filed out, she told them she wasn't feeling too well, and left for home not too long after. You're sad you didn't get to see her before she left, but you don't pay it too much mind.

Eventually, the sun starts going down, and the four of you say your goodbyes as you and Sayori depart for home. On the way back, Sayori has a peaceful smile on her face, eyes closed, her head against her shoulder, as she lets you lead her home by the hand. You're ecstatic, honestly. Everything has turned out so well, after how scary yesterday had been. You know that her depression isn't gone. Things like that don't vanish in a day, and in the long run, it's something you'll have to learn to cope with as well as she has. But somehow, you feel like she's getting closer to accepting that the way you feel is real, and valid, and only for her, against all odds.

Even then, something feels... wrong, in your head. Like there's something really important you've forgotten, or taken for granted.

Eventually, you come to your houses, and you decide to accompany her back to her room before you say good evening. As you ascend the steps, that feeling of unease and wrongness is getting stronger, not just in your head, but in your knees as well. You're struggling to walk up any further, but you stay strong for Sayori.

Once you're in her bedroom, whatever bit of resolve was keeping you upright totally shatters, and you feel your legs buckle out from underneath you. Your body slams against the floor, limp, and you hear Sayori yelp in shock as you cave to the ground.

Oh god...

You...

Mo...

More or less haven't eaten or slept in almost 36 hours. How could you forget that? You nibbled on some eggs and a few dark chocolates, but other than that, your body is completely out of energy on all fronts. You're completely wiped out, now that everything's done and sorted for the day, and you must've hit whatever arbitrary limit your system has, on the way up the stairs.

Sayori falls to her knees, shaking you until your eyes flutter back open. "What's going on? Are you okay? Answer me!"

You manage a chuckle to disarm her concern. "Yeah, yeah, it's fine." You struggle back to a sitting position. "I... ah... didn't sleep last night... like, at all... I wasn't even in bed for more than an hour or two."

Do you tell her why? You know she hates it when others are concerned about her, so you decide to leave that up to her imagination.

It feels like a Herculean task, but you start trying to get back to your feet, every inch of you exhausted from walking around the festival all day. It sucks, but you've still gotta make it home before you can collapse into unconsciousness.

Before you can make too much vertical progress, you feel her hand stop you, pushing you back against the ground gently. You're much too weak to resist in your current state, and expect your head to bounce off the hardwood. 

But there's a pillow to cushion its fall, and another lands right next to it. You watch a blanket fly off of Sayori's bed and puff up like a parachute, sinking slowly through the air and completely covering your body, blinding you with fabric.

After a second of confusion, your tired mind struggling to catch up, you pull your face free, only to see Sayori laying beside you on the ground, similarly tucked in under the comforter.

"Sayori, wha-" you're cut off by a piece of dark chocolate being shoved between your lips with a giggle.

"You're not going anywhere, you big dummy." Sayori teases.

She snuggles up, pressed against you beneath the covers, and gives you a quick peck on the cheek before tucking her head next to you, her face as red as your's would be if you weren't so tired, and closes her eyes. Even though you're both in stiff uniforms, laying on the firm and unyielding floor, you can't imagine a single more wonderful place to rest, but that might just be your completely drained brain talking.

You wrap an arm around Sayori's back, feeling her chest rise and fall against you with each breath, her heartbeat, steady and calm, and you melt into each other, floating away to peaceful slumber.


	3. Natsuki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey everybody! Your responses have been AMAZING and FANTASTIC, once again. Really, if I didn't have the encouragement, it'd be harder to justify writing these, so thanks so much! I've gotten a few reviews that have made me involuntarily YELP with excitement at this point, no joke. 
> 
> This ended up being the hardest one to write yet due to total lack of inspiration. The crucial idea that brought it all together really only came to me yesterday. And then it somehow ended up just slightly longer than Sayori's chapter, which is crazy!
> 
> ...I really have no idea if this is any good! It's hard, because Natsuki was definitely the character I ended up thinking the most fondly of by the end, mainly because she get's such a short schrift in character developmentin the original (it's my one complaint with the game). I had really little to go off of, especially in situations where she has to treat someone NICELY, without all the bluster and bravado. But it is what it is.
> 
> The finale (for now) with Monika will ideally be released on a shorter time-frame, mostly because I had her story's outline in my head before I even wrote Yuri's, so getting it down should be easier. Enough comments have asked for continuations to some of these stories that I am considering (not promising) epilogue chapters that take place a bit farther in the future.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ;D and please leave a comment if you do!

You've been walking through these woods for... how long? You couldn't say. There's been no sign of human life, not that you've been able to see, and it's getting late. You aren't even walking on a trail. You've just been wandering through the trees and moss, trying to find something, anything to give you some sense of direction. But the world feels untouched by humanity at-large.

You feel like you should be panicking, or worried, or running, but those states of mind feel alien to the sights around you, as if nature itself is blocking out any fears you might be mustering. The last few drops of sunlight shine through a few tufts of cloud cover far away, bathing everything in a soft orange glow. The summer wind whistles through the leaves, carrying a sound, almost like a whisper. This doesn't seem like a place where anything bad could happen, to anyone.

You've been able to hear water rushing for a while now, and have been heading toward the noise, hoping to find a river, or stream, or something like that. Waterways lead back to humanity eventually, kind of like roads. Instead, when you finally burst out of the foliage into a clearing, you're confronted by a sheer cliffside about a hundred yards off, divided by an almost unnatural waterfall, towering so high over the surrounding woods that you wonder how you ever missed it. It's like the whole world bent into a sharp 90-degree angle thousands of years ago, creating a mountain-face so vast, and tall, and totally incomprehensible to human perception.

But despite the majesty of it all, that's not really what you're focused on. Because at the side of the cascading river below the falling water, a girl is laying in the grass with her eyes closed, her form like a speck of dust against the gargantuan rock formations and rushing torrents that surround her. Her ears are covered by one of the biggest pairs of headphones you've ever seen, nearly dwarfing her head. She's short, a bit younger than you, but not too much. She's got bright pink hair, and...

C'mon, you know who it is. How could you not? Suddenly, you remember that you were never lost, that you were meeting Natsuki here, far away from everything else (and everyone else, too). She doesn't notice as you approach, and you can see a plastic container of homemade cupcakes sticking out of her backpack, and a couple manga volumes you don't recognize. But given Natsuki's taste, you doubt they'll disappoint.

You'd thought she was just resting her eyes, but you're quickly realizing that she's sound asleep. Did you really keep her waiting that long? She's so peaceful, and you hate to wake her up, but you think she'd be way angrier if you let her sleep though such pretty sights while you took them in alone.

You reach down to lightly grab her shoulder, wanting to ease her back into consciousness gently, and the whole world is shaking and shaking and shaking and SHAKING AND SHAKING AND SHAKING AND SHAKING AND

*gasp*

You fly backwards as you jolt awake, toppling to the floor in a heap and taking the desk you were sitting in with you. As you recover from the ensuing head trauma as your unguarded skull bounces off the tile, your eyes start to refocus on your surroundings. You're... in the clubroom?

...Of course you are. Just another dream, way too good to be true. Still, some things haven't changed all that much in your transition back to reality, as you look up and notice that Natsuki is definitely towering over your sprawled out, pinned-under-a-desk body. She's clearly trying not to laugh at your ungraceful flop, but eventually a snicker does start to escape her lips. It feels a little cruel, but you know there's no malice in it.

"You should watch where you sleep." she manages through the giggles.

"Very funny. Mind helping me up?" you manage, a bit sardonically, but still with a smile, despite the residual ache in your back. You really went down like a sack of bricks.

She starts to reach down to free you, but she's intercepted by Yuri and Sayori rushing in from either direction, pulling you back to your feet.

"You okay? That looked like it hurt!" Sayori worriedly inquires, as Yuri seems to be giving you a combat medic's body-check from all sides.

"Yep, just a nasty awakening. Did I really just fall asleep?" You're not all that surprised, actually. You've been feeling a bit wiped out the last day or two, for whatever reason. "How long was I out?"

"Oh, not THAT long. Maybe... twenty minutes?" Monika chimes in from across the room. She seems more bemused than anything else, but it's not like you were expecting her to rush over or anything. "We were all arguing about about whether you were actually out cold-"

"So I decided to check! And WOW, you were freaked out." Natsuki interjects, still with a smirk on her face.

"Saying you 'checked' might be a bit of an understatement, Natsuki. From how fiercely you seemed to be shaking, I doubt anyone wouldn't have reacted just as strongly." Yuri chides a bit.

Natsuki has no response besides another giggle. A few days ago, you might have been more upset with her, but after that rigorous cupcake-baking session last weekend, you feel like you've made a real connection with her. You haven't spent any more time together outside of school since, but you've become text-buddies in the meantime. You're really amazed at how quickly the two of you have befriended each other after a little rough-patch at the beginning. Of all the girls you'd met, you really hadn't expected she'd be the one you'd get to know the best. You'd been really skeptical when Sayori had wanted you to join the literature club, but getting to know Natsuki has made all this worthwhile by itself...

...and by "getting to know", you mean "falling totally head-over-heels for". Nobody you've met has had such an immediately entertaining and engaging personality. You totally underestimated pretty much everything about her at first, seeing her as just another slightly annoying pink-haired girl in your life.

But just underneath that shell, you've discovered a rich depth of passion about almost everything in her life. She has a powerful personality, whether it's her devotion to baking, her strict belief in "simple" writing styles, or her unapologetic endorsements of anything and everything she enjoys, especially manga.

But more often than not, strong-spirited people like Natsuki can be overpowering in conversation, rarely letting others get in a word edgewise. In contrast, she's also proven to be an extremely easy person to talk to. You never feel like she's not listening to you, or she's uninterested in what you have to say, or that REALLY thinks she's better than you, beyond a general arrogance she projects when others are around.

Just as much as she fascinates you, you interest her as well. Maybe that's just because your poetry always seems to wildly impress her, but it still feels good to have someone take a keen interest in you. Especially someone as IMPOSSIBLY cute as Natsuki, though you try not to say it too often, knowing that her common perception as "cute" really bugs her.

You only woke up right at the end of club time, so you start to gather your things. Tomorrow's the weekend again, so you're sure not to leave anything vital behind. Right before you depart, the girl of your literal-dreams grabs you by the shoulder.

"Hey!... Um..." She seems a bit unsure for a second, but redoubles her efforts. "Think I could come over tomorrow? I mean, you offered and all, and we could finally make some real headway into Parfait Gi-"

"Sure!" you blurt, a little too overeager. You've been waiting for her to ask ever since she last came over, so you really couldn't help yourself.

"Oh! G-great!" She responds, a little taken aback at your enthusiasm. "Ah... do you think you could actually take the next few volumes with you, then? You know... with my dad, and everything..."

Hrm. Right. Natsuki's dad. You've heard quite a few stories about him at this point. Not what you'd call a lenient parent in any way, shape, or form. One or two of the anecdotes you've heard from her over text seemed really shocking, particularly when coming from a teenage daughter, but you've bitten your tongue in passing too much verbal judgment.

You agree to hash out the finer details of your meetup over text, same as last weekend, and head your separate ways. On the walk home, you can't seem to escape Sayori's repeated sing-song rendition of "You and Natsu, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" She's had you and Natsuki figured out since nearly day one, and though you've vehemently denied her allegations, the fact that you get so flustered whenever Sayori brings her up in that light seems to have been proof enough. She's been nothing but excited and encouraging, but that doesn't mean she's above poking fun at you.

As you settle in at home, you're really, genuinely thrilled about Natsuki coming over again so soon, though you try to disguise your excitement a little bit in your texts back-and-forth that evening.

...

"Sup?" Natsuki's greeting is identical to her last visit, you notice as you welcome her inside.

You'd describe the following afternoon as absolutely lovely, if a bit tense on your part. You've had your share of close-encounters in the romantic sense at this point that might've led somewhere... more, had they gone uninterrupted by ovens or a particular neighbor, but no such opportunity presents itself this time, despite your wishes.

You speed through a couple volumes of Parfait Girls, munching through the baked snacks she brought with (scrumptious as always), and you use some extra time to display your own personal collection of favorite titles from over the years. Natsu seems really interested in a few of them, and you nearly offer to let her borrow whatever she likes, before you remember that she couldn't take them home, even if she wanted to.

Much sooner than either of you would have liked, an alarm goes off on her phone signifying that she needs to get moving, immediately, if she's to be home on time.

As she's rushing down the street, you're still a bit frustrated. This can't be ALL the time that the two of you get. Time to be a little bold.

"Hey, Natsuki!" you shout down the road, and she twirls around to face you across the distance. "Want to do this again tomorrow?"

There's a pause for a bit, but eventually a "Sure!" echoes back to you, and she starts back for home again. You're not sure, but you could swear she's got a bit more of a skip in her step now, which, y'know, is ADORABLE.

...

Sure enough, you spend the day after that together as well. The two of you sort through your manga horde, sampling a few chapters of anything interesting to her, and mocking a few comically bad volumes you forgot you even owned. It's not too different from yesterday, but what else could you ask for? Things are pretty perfect the way they are, even if you've still felt unable to come straight out with your real feelings.

Still, all good things must come to an end, as she heads home yet again... honestly, you wish she could stay forever. Hours dissolve into minutes when you're together, and you get so depressed every time she has to go.

...

The weekend's over. As you shower for school, the hot water suddenly stings your back, and you jump out from under the spray. Examining in the mirror, you discover a long purple bruise down your left shoulder-blade.

It's pretty nasty-looking, and as you wrack your brain for a cause, you remember the topple you took the other day in the clubroom. You guess the injury's effects must've been delayed, or something. It's not that bad when there's not scalding water on it though, so you just decide to grin and bear it. You lower the water temp a bit and finish your morning routine as well as you can, more focused on Natsuki than the wound.

...Would it be a step too far to ask her to come over again today? It'd be the third day in a row you spend together out of school. These last two days have been some of the more enjoyable in your life, just being alone with her. You don't want to seem overenthusiastic and drive her away, but... you really want to spend more time with her. You make the mistake of consulting Sayori on your dilemma before school, and she threatens to invite Natsu over herself if you don't, egging you on.

When you muster up the willpower to ask, Natsuki seems a little spooked. "Um... yeah, I'd like to, but... hold on."

After a few minutes of feverish texting (with her dad, you imagine) she, still a little hesitant, walks home with you and Sayori. You're getting more and more concerned about her dad the more time that goes on. Her earlier mentions of him have been casual, a little dismissive... but for a second just now, she slipped a bit and revealed what you'd describe as a hint of genuine fear.

That afternoon, the two of you have an intensive poetry session, each writing and rewriting, offering critique and praise in equal amounts. You've traded a few poems in the club, but this is a new level of insight into her writing process, and you gain a whole new appreciation of the amount of skill and nuance and thought she pours into every single word. She's wrung more words out of you in a single night than you've written in months.

"You- you're really, absolutely amazing at this. I'd only seen your end process, but actually seeing you work is truly stunning, Natsu."

"Well, what else would you expect from the best?" she asks, her tone dripping with pride, but her voice softens as she speaks. You had your back to her when you first spoke up, so you swivel around in your office chair to investigate. Her mouth is hanging open, just a bit, and her pink irises seem firmly locked on your shoulder.

Before you can ask her what's going on, she rushes over and grabs your arm, gently but firmly straightening it out and spinning you back around, as you realize she's looking straight at that big bruise you discovered earlier this morning, which had been very slightly exposed at your collar. It aches a bit as she stretches your arm, and you instinctively let out a groan of pain.

"H-h-how'd this happen?" She stutters a bit.

"Oh, don't worry. I think it's from when I fell backward in my seat the other day, in the clubroom, remember?"

Her eyes fall a little bit. "You mean... when I shook you awake?"

"Ah... yeah, that was it." You pray she doesn't feel guilty. "It's fine, reall-" You spin around again and realize you're talking to an empty room. Less than a minute later, Natsuki marches back in with a rag full of ice cubes, and pulls the shoulder free of your shirt despite your protestations.

"You should be icing this every day if you want it to heal in any sort of reasonable amount of time, y'know. Have you been?"

"I really hadn't even noticed it until this morning-"

"Jeez, you dummy. You need to take better care of yourself when stuff like this happens." She lays the cool cloth against your shoulder. "There. You should really have store-bought cold compresses ready to go, but this'll have to do. Is that better?"

"...yeah." It's more that a little embarrassing to be so suddenly exposed, but you can't deny that it feels nice to have the cool ice against the bruise, gently but firmly pressed into the skin. This is... you haven't really seen this side of Natsuki before, but you haven't really been physically injured in front of her either. At least, not this visibly.

After another minute or so, she lifts the rag and pulls out a tiny squeeze bottle of... something? You don't recognize it, so it definitely isn't yours. She squeezes a bit of the contents into her palm, warming it just slightly. "...Anyway, this is aloe vera. Works great for bruises. Gonna try to be gentle."

Before you can protest, she's rubbing it into the dark spot, in small circles. The pressure stings a little at first, but eventually the sensation of her fingertips carefully and methodically gliding across your shoulder more than compensates for any discomfort. It feels... really, REALLY good. Natsuki definitely knows her way around a bruise. The scent of the aloe is perfectly calming, and you're putty in her hands. You look back, and her pink brow is furrowed intensely at she treats you. You sink back into the seat as she finishes up and reapplies the ice for just another minute or two. You had severely underestimated the level of discomfort you were in, but your whole shoulder feels loosened up and free where it had felt tight and strained, and you're only realizing the difference now.

"Now, you're gonna feel tempted to scratch it or rub it more or anything else like that. DON'T. Overstimulation slows down the healing process for a bruise. Only ice, okay?" Her eyes are locked into yours now, serious as a shark.

"Sure, sure..." Natsuki really seems to know her stuff about this, but you didn't think she was into medicine or anything like that.

Her expression brightens a bit, and suddenly, without any warning and seemingly without thinking, she leans down and places a tiny kiss right in the center of the contusion, before looking back at you, a cute smile beaming at her job-well-done. The two of you just lock eyes for a moment, before suddenly there's a dawning look of realization on her face as it glows bright red, and she twirls away in embarrassment. "L-lets get back to the poetry." she stammers.

You don't want to press any further, so turn back to your papers, but after a few seconds, you realize you'd forgotten something. You whip around in your chair again.

"Thanks, Natsu."

She gives a nod in your direction, before focusing back her work, a hint of pink glow still emanating from her cheeks.

...

And she comes over again the next day, and the day after that, and soon you don't even need to ask. She follows you and Sayori every day of the week, and still makes time on the weekends as well. You're surprised that it's become so easy for her after the concerns she had about her dad the first few times, but anytime you think to ask, she's quick to deflect your concerns with a "Yeah, it's fine, don't worry."

Lately, she's back in baking mode, and whereas the last time you baked together was very utilitarian, for the festival, she's now having a lot more fun in showing you the ropes methodically. Soon enough, your kitchen is fully stocked with baking supplies the two of you picked up on a shopping trip to the supermarket together, Natsuki pointing out all the best brands, teaching you the distinctions between types of flour, yeast, milk, eggs, etc. It puts such a smile on her face when you show an interest, and you try your best to be a worthy pupil to the master. She also made you buy those cold compresses she was talking about, as well as an extra loose ice pack or two.

One evening, the two of you are flipping through a volume of Parfait Girls as you wait for a sheet of chocolate-chip peanut-butter cookies to finish in the oven. The drama has escalated on-page, as Minori has fallen head-over-heels for another character, the climax of a long-building subplot between the two.

Natsuki's focus on the events unfolding is absolute, and... you can't resist. She doesn't even notice as you lean toward her, your lips only an inch from her ear as you suddenly whisper "Hey!"

When she turns her head toward you in surprise, you steal a kiss, lips making contact for only half a second before you pull away mischievously.

You're grinning ear to ear as she becomes increasingly flustered, her face glowing brighter than you've ever seen it. You can tell she's trying to come up with some barb or retort to shoot back angrily, her eyes darting around in their sockets in manic thought, but she's drawing a blank due to the shock of the moment as you start to giggle.

Suddenly, she springs out at you, and for a second you're worried she's about to claw your eyes out in a rage. But then, her soft lips meet your own again, lingering just a second or two longer than your kiss did before she pulls back, her fangs exposed in a wicked grin of her own.

"There! Now we're even." she puffs triumphantly.

She's still practically got you pinned, her small frame pressed against yours. You can feel her breath on your face, sweet like sugar. She smells just a little like strawberries, and she's... so... close...

You lock her lips with yours again. Natsuki half-recoils, but after a tense few seconds, slowly leans in, wrapping her arms around you. It feels like an eternity, but eventually she does pull away, only to start lavishing your face in kisses, covering every inch of skin with rapid-fire pecks, overpowering you with affection before returning to your lips again, pressing in with ravenous zeal. You feel drunk, almost, everything else a secondary concern as the last barrier between you two finally shatters.

This goes on for minutes, wordlessly, the drama of the manga forgotten in the heat of the moment, until eventually you're both woken from the daze by the chiming of the timer in the kitchen. You're quick to spring up, moving the cookie sheet from the oven to the stove top. When you return to the couch, a warm cookie in hand for her to judge your work by, she's still sitting, the reality of the kiss slowly sinking in. You hand her the cookie, gooey and sweet, and she takes a nibble absentmindedly. Eventually, after a few seconds' chewing and a swallow, she turns back toward you.

"It's delicious... I..." her gaze falls, "I feel like I really belong here, with you. I've never really had that before, with anybody. I mean, everyone in the club is great, but... you're different." She seems painfully nervous, despite the intimacy from just a few moment's prior. Great, now you're blushing too. "You really are so, so incredible, Natsu. Getting to spend time with you... it's the best part of my day, every day. I don't ever want this to end." Finally, she summons up her strength, locks her pink eyes with your own, and forces the words "I think... I think I love you!" from her lips, nearly yelling, her cheeks beyond red. Before you can even respond, she throws herself at you once more, the faint taste of peanut-buttery crumbs still on her lips as she overpowers you again, as if she was trying to prove what she had just said was true.

When you finally part again, you tell Natsuki the truth.

"I think I love you too."

...

It's Monday, and it's been... a month? Maybe a month and a half? Either way, it's been about that long since you two became an official couple, and you haven't spend a single day apart since. You've gone on your share of adventures, dates at the bookstore, the arcade, the amusement park, as well as your share of days in, just relaxing like you used to. Every day is a new fantasy.

It took a week or so before you were comfortable telling the rest of the club, and whereas Yuri and Monika were a bit surprised and congratulatory, Sayori was absolutely ecstatic. You've had to keep it on the down-low elsewhere, wanting to keep the chance of her dad finding out at a minimum. It's been at least a month, and you've still never seen her house, even from the outside. She's been extremely cautious, and barely even pays you mind in public.

It's still tough, only getting to be together so many hours of the day, but you make it work with your endless texting in the meantime.

You're actually heading to the clubroom right now, eager to see her face for the first time in... around sixteen hours, which is just WAY too long to go without her.

You open the door, and... she's not there. Which is weird, because she's very rarely a latecomer. You bide your time, twiddling your thumbs, making small-talk with the other girls, staring at the clock, waiting for her to SHOW UP already.

But more and more time passes, and Natsuki's still not anywhere to be seen. You shoot her a text, but it goes unanswered. You ask around, and none of the others have seen her at school today.

Eventually, club time ends, and though you wait around for another ten minutes, you and Sayori eventually depart without Natsuki in tow. You've walked home without her hundred of times in the past, but it feels very strange to have her not at your side.

Once you're home, you begin to realize how little you actually did with your free time before you met Natsuki. You text her again, and when that fails, you give her a call. No answer. You feel like you're going nuts, and eventually you resort to sitting on your front stoop, hoping that maybe she'll just walk by, apologizing for being late, and everything will be fine.

But that doesn't happen, and once the sun goes down, you eventually force yourself back inside.

It was the single longest day of your life.

...

But the next day is worse. Still no sign, no message, no Natsuki. You don't want to kick up too much of a fuss publicly, still wanting to keep your relationship nice and hidden, but without her around, a massive piece of your own personality is gone too.

You're empty, just going through the motions. You didn't think you could possibly become so attached after so little time, but Natsuki made it impossible not to be.

You wait for her again out front, but she still never comes.

...

The third day, you feel like you're slipping, and though you try to hide it, Sayori notices all too clearly, and you end up staying an hour or two at her house after school just to have something to occupy your mind. Still, it doesn't bring Natsuki back, and you have half-a-mind to walk straight up to her front door, consequences be damned, and get a straight answer. But you don't want to put her at risk... and you're not really sure where she actually lives anyway.

This is hellish.

...

The fourth day without Natsuki, you start baking like a madman, using up half the supplies in your kitchen just to have something to do, something to remind you of her.

You text her a picture of a cupcake with pink frosting you've just finished, made in her image. It doesn't even deliver this time. You're too scared to call to see if the line even rings.

...

On the fifth day, you see her, down the street, walking toward you. You run for her, faster than you've ever run in your life, but before you can reach her, you feel the ground shift under your feet, and the world is shaking and shaking and...

You're lying on the floor of your kitchen. You smell smoke. You blearily look up and catch a few tufts of pinkish hair in the corner of your vision. But when you crane your neck in excitement, the world clearing up a little, you see it's only Sayori, spraying a fire extinguisher at the roaring, flaming mouth of your oven with extreme prejudice.

Oh god, you passed out with something in the oven! You watch her strangle the flames, snuffing them out with the last few blasts of extinguishing-foam, before slumping to the ground, catching her breath.

"You could've gotten yourself killed!" Sayori admonishes, harshly. "You're lucky I stopped by to check on you!"

You try to apologize, but the words get caught in your throat. All you can manage is a sob.

You feel so absolutely pathetic. Five days without Natsuki in your life, and already you're an unsustainable mess.

Sayori scoots over a bit, comforting you as you weep on the hard tile floor.

Something's got to happen.

...

It's Saturday, which is just GREAT, because now you don't even have school to distract you. Sayori has been keeping tabs on your activities ever since the near-disaster of last night, checking in with you every half-hour at least, making sure you're okay. You're really grateful to have such a supportive friend so close by.

You just putter around, trying to put your attention anywhere but on your slowly building fear that Natsuki is never coming back. You thought maybe this'd be the day you heard something, but it's nearing midnight, and still she's all but vanished from the world.

You've been trying to focus on a favorite anime you've got a month's worth of backlog on, and then you hear it.

A knock. Just one, but clear as day.

You pause the show, and look at the door for a long time, and eventually figure you must've imagined it.

As you go to resume, you hear knock number two. Just as clear as the last, but a bit weaker.

It... It couldn't be. You try not to get your hopes up as you make your way to the door.

You pull it open. Natsuki is standing there, but not for long, as she topples into your arms almost instantly, as if she had been leaning on the door for support. You freeze for half a second, unable to believe what you're seeing, before you guide her inside and slam the door behind you.

She looks like a victim in a particularly gruesome horror film, almost every inch of visible skin covered in a patchwork of deep purple bruises, both eyes black as midnight and severely swollen. She's still managing to support her own weight, but her legs are shuddering, threatening to fail her at any moment. She's in her uniform from school, partly ripped and worn. It looks like she's been in it for a long, long time.

You give a quick glance at the outside world through a window, looking for a car or some other transport... but there's nothing. Could she have really walked here like this?

You've literally never seen a person in worse shape, even if she's not bleeding. You sweep her off her feet and carry her to your couch in a adrenaline-fueled burst of lucidity in the face of what you're seeing.

What...

What are you supposed to do?! You don't know how to handle this kind of thing!

"S-s-sup?" you hear escape her lips, weakly, as a pained grimace flashes for half a second on her face at the sight of you.

"God, Natsuki, what the hell happened? How bad is it?" is all you can manage. You have a thousand more questions, but these are the most important.

"D-dad... I've been lying to him, every time we were together... had to make up a new story every time... he-" she pauses as she starts to cough. You grab a tissue and hold it to her face on instinct, and sure enough, there's a spatter of blood on it when you pull back. But she's quick to continue. "I hesitated, and he took my phone... saw your texts... knew I lied... k-kept me like this all week... did..." You can see her eyes closing, and you get the distinct feeling she REALLY shouldn't be passing out right now. You grab her gently, not wanting to hurt her any more, and yell her name a few times before the puffy lids peel back open at you. "S-sorry..." she whispers.

"Don't you dare apologize." You hate to leave her side, but you jump to your feet. "I'm calling an ambulance."

You reach for your phone, but she snatches your hand with a death grip, beyond the strength you thought she could muster in this state of injury, and a firm, clear "No."

You can see red rings cutting deep into the skin around each wrist, and the image of her hands tightly bound with rope suddenly burns your mind's eye.

After a few tense seconds, she continues "It's-ngh... nothing serious. It's all external. No broken bones, no cuts, no teeth lost. D-does it that way on purpose, so I can heal over without anyone knowing."

"Natsuki, I can't let this happen again. We need to tell someone."

She tries to smile again, "You... you're so nice to me... but I've tried that. You don't know this, but my dad... he's a real big-shot. Got friends in high places... Nobody can touch him... Especially not me... You call an ambulance, and all it'll do is make everything so, so much worse."

What do you do? You can't call an ambulance. YOU don't know how to help her... You can feel your eyes tearing up at the sight of Natsuki, battered and beaten like this. Are you really so helpless?

This is your fault. You go into her club, fall in love with her, and this is the reward she gets. You couldn't protect her, couldn't help her. She's so perfect, so skilled and talented and passionate and wonderful...

And this is what you brought on her.

C'mon, think... THINK!

Okay, the couch is NOT the best place for her, and you'll have more time to feel guilty later. You scoop her up again in your arms, prompting a quick yelp of pain. You try to be as gentle as possible you carry her to your bed, tucking her under the covers and propping her up into a sitting position with pillows. You rush down to your kitchen, snatching up whatever food you had laying out and filling her a large glass of water.

Back upstairs, you slowly lift the glass to her mouth, giving her a careful, steady supply to help her rehydrate. You think that's important, probably. You don't know if she's in eating shape at the moment, so you leave that to the side for now.

After a few minutes, you're confident she's stable, at least... what now?

Sayori!

You call, but it seems she's asleep, so you make sure Natsuki is comfortable before you dash out the door, screaming Sayori's name as you hammer on her front door. As soon as she opens it, you're rushing back to your own house, confident she'll follow.

Sayori's petrified for a second when she sees Natsu's shattered form, same as you had been, but having her there to help proves to be a great comfort to your increasingly strained, broken psyche. She darts back home for a few minutes, and returns with a hastily-gathered care package, including a bottle of pain relievers, something you failed to even consider in your panic.

You both help Natsuki get a few down with a little more water, and you run downstairs to retrieve the store-bought ice-packs you'd gotten on her advice, ages and ages ago. In the meantime, Sayori pulls out some old pajamas she'd grown out of, closer to Natsuki's size now, and carefully helps the battered girl out of her tattered uniform and into something more comfortable.

For the next hour or so, you and Sayori apply the cold compresses carefully and methodically, asking Natsu where she hurts the most, and treating accordingly, while keeping her limbs elevated with more pillows. Eventually, she think's she's strong enough to eat, and you help her nibble on a few cookies while Sayori continues applying the ice.

You want to hug her so, so badly, but you know it'd hurt much more than it'd help.

Eventually, Natsuki really wants to sleep, so the two of you keep watch quietly as she dozes off, making sure she keeps breathing and doesn't seem too strained. It's at this point that you take the time to relay everything you know to Sayori, why you can't get any other help for her.

"I just feel so trapped. The only place she can go is back there, back to him, and if she doesn't, we're all gonna get it, big time... and it's all my dumb fault." You hate yourself almost as much as you love her.

Sayori's deep in contemplation, far more serious than usual, but suddenly something seems to click in her head. "...I've got an idea, but let's not worry about anything but keeping her comfortable for the moment."

Faster than any of you expected, the sun is rising, and Sayori thinks to shoot Yuri and Monika an S.O.S over text. Within the next hour, Yuri is bounding up the stairs with fresh, clean rolls of gauze and elastic bandages. You gently wake Natsuki, and the three of you carefully wrap her arms, legs, and neck in a protective layer of cotton.

Monika shows up not too long after with a blessed, blessed bag of breakfast sandwiches from a fast food joint to feed your tired stomachs. All four of you are fawning over Natsuki now, and soon enough, she's convinced the rest of you that she's in walking shape.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't worried as she went to take her first steps, but if she was strong enough to walk here at midnight, she must be strong enough to move now. You recall the first time she came to your house, lugging that heavy sack of cupcake supplies the whole way here. She really is the strongest person you know.

As Natsuki heads off to your bathroom, there's a pall over the rest of the room. It's been a rough evening and morning, to say the least, but you've pulled it off so far. So...

"What's next?" you ask, looking for ideas.

"It really is a bit of a pickle. Send her home, we lose. Keep her here, we lose." Monika sighs, propping her head up on a fist. She's kept her cool better than anyone else, for sure, but you can tell she's just as distressed as the rest of you.

"Maybe we go back home with her... teach him a lesson..." Yuri suggests, coldly and directly, a steely gaze in her eye.

"That's... not going to solve anything in the long run, Yuri." You chide, cautiously. The severity's new on her, but you'd be lying if your own blood wasn't boiling red-hot after all this.

"We don't have much time. Natsuki's dad might not even know she's gone, or he might be expecting her to come crawling back. Worse, if he's figured out where you live from those texts, he might be on his way here any second, or maybe he sent someone else. Cops, or something. Whatever we do, we need to do it fast..." Sayori adds.

But you're still no closer to a solution. The four of you rack your brains further, but you're still short on ideas before Natsuki's return. She strides back in, surprisingly confident on her feet, and drops down on the bed, throwing back a few more pain relievers as she lands. You're astounded by the amount of pep in her step, after such an ordeal.

"Natsuki... what can we do?"

She smiles. "You all... You really are too nice to me. I'm sorry, I really am, but... there's nothing anybody can do. Nowhere to go but... home." She winces just a bit with that last word. "If I'm lucky, he might just make me switch schools... again."

This seems to pull something out of Sayori. "Oh! I was thinking earlier... Have you ever thought of running away?" she asks, not realizing it might come off a little condescendingly.

"Pffft." the old sarcastic Natsu rears her head for a second, falling into old routines despite the injuries. "Only every day of my life. But... what then? My... my dad has control of my finances, so I'm broke. Out there alone, I wouldn't last a week."

Sayori's disheartened a bit, as are the rest of you... except Monika.

"What if you weren't alone?" she offers, simply.

"Um... Are you offering to run off with me, Monika? Cause, like, you're a good friend and all, bu-"

"Oh, not me, no." and Monika's gaze turns slowly to you, and everyone else follows. They're... oh.

Oh...

It sounds crazy, but...

Could you?

Would that be okay?

Skipping town with Natsuki... maybe for good? You've got a decent amount of cash stored away for college. At least, that's what it was intended for, but it could last you a good while on your own if you spent it right...

You don't exactly have a lot of responsibilities holding you back here. You're no great student either... but it's a huge step to take so suddenly.

"...how would we, even?"

"I was going to suggest the train. Pay with cash, can't be traced. Could get you a decent way's away from here in a day, and you could figure it out from there... um, if we are talking about this for real." Sayori adds, having seemingly put a lot of thought into this

You look at Natsuki. Her expression is mixed. She's not looking expectantly, but... there's something there, in her eyes, that says she wouldn't dismiss the idea out of hand. But then, whatever expression was there is dashed by a wince of pain as Sayori accidentally makes the bed bounce just a bit under her...

To think anyone would do this to her. That anyone would look at her perfectly pink eyes, shining with passion for the world around her, and want to blacken them... god, you can't even imagine it.

You can't let her get hurt again.

"Ah... could we get a second, alone?" you ask, as politely as possible, and the other girls are quick to file out.

You kneel right next to Natsuki, taking her hands in yours, looking her straight in the eye.

"If you want to go, I'll follow you in a heartbeat." You squeeze her hand, but she doesn't recoil in pain. "If you'll have me, I'll never leave your side again."

"But... we'd have to leave the club... leave everyone else. I don't want to force yo-"

"Don't think about me. This is about you."

"...I need to think about it."

"Take all the time you need." You didn't expect her to have an answer right away. You turn to the door. "Hey, guys, you can come b-"

"-Yes!" Natsuki yells, cutting you off. Your gaze flies back to her in shock as she throws her bruised, bandaged arms around you. "Let's... let's go for it. Things can't get much worse here as it is."

"Do... do you really mean it?" you ask, a little incredulous at how quickly she's made up her mind.

"Yeah. Definitely."

...

The next few hours are full of heartache. Natsuki makes the formal announcement that you two are leaving the literature club, and even Monika can't help but shed a few tears as you all start coping with the realization that you might not see each other for a long, long time after all this.

But you act quickly, knowing time is of the essence. Sayori and Yuri pack your bags and get Natsuki prepped for travel while you send Monika to pick up the farthest train tickets she can afford, and you go empty your bank account for the journey ahead. You offer to pay her back, but she refuses, knowing you'll need the cash more.

Sooner than anyone could've expected, the full literature club is gathered on the platform for the last time. Yuri and Monika say their teary goodbyes, but Sayori sticks behind just a bit longer.

It's the first time you've noticed, but... jeez, she looks absolutely wrecked. You didn't realize it... but you're leaving her behind, for a good long while at least. She won't be your neighbor for the first time you can remember. It stings, more than a little. Before you can say anything, she wraps you in a bear hug, and you can feel tears against your shoulder as you return it.

"Are you happy?" is all Sayori asks.

"Absolutely. I'm... sor-"

"Don't be." She lets you go, her smile poking out through her tear-streaked visage. "Keep Natsu safe... and keep yourself safe too."

"You too, Sayori."

...

And just like that, you and Natsuki are on your way to who-knows-where, each with an arm around the other on the hard plastic seats. All around you, businessmen, commuters, and travelers alike crowd the car. You don't know what the future will bring. For the first time in your life, the future is unclear and mysterious. It's terrifying, not knowing where you'll end up.

But what's even more terrifying is the idea of going back, of letting Natsuki slip away into the dark. You look down at her, but she's already dozed off, still sleep deprived. As she leans into you, her bright pink hair tickles your chin, a serene smile on her face despite the extent of her still-healing injuries, everything seems perfectly clear. Maybe you're just a couple of dumb teens running away together. Maybe they'll catch you in a week and drag you back home. But somehow, you know you'll both be alright.

It's a long ride from here to elsewhere, and you're pretty exhausted from a long night of healing, so you let your consciousness slip away against her too.

...

In your dreams, you're back in that forest.

But as you approach the waterfall in the clearing, Natsuki isn't waiting for you there in the grass.

You're worried for a second, but then you remember she's been walking beside you the whole time, her hand in yours, her backpack still full of those same cupcakes and manga from so long ago. She's beaming with excitement and joy, exactly how she's supposed to be.

She settles down on the riverside, and you're quick to join her there. Despite the rushing water's roars, the world remains peaceful and still around the two of you.


End file.
